Devotion
by MissPilot
Summary: IC. Jasper and Alice contemplating their fear and love for each other.


**Devotion**

Jasper

People didn't really understand what it meant when you couldn't have any secrets from your spouse.  
With one look, one unconscious movement, she will know more about me then I ever could tell her. People like to think that we are love sick puppies, gazing into each others eyes and having "silent conversations", when in reality it is so much more.

When you can feel everything there is no hiding. There's no lies, no white small lies to make life easier. Everything is in the open and I am truly grateful that she puts up with me.  
The powers we have are are meant to live alone in a world full of people, never in the centre, always watching, observing, and hiding.

Many doesn't realize the power I have in me, lucky for them I am a good guy. But I've made some mistakes. Alice, fuck, Alice is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I would've continued with my former life if it wasn't for her.I am a warrior from birth, it what was why I was transformed, to fight. All the killing, drinking people, I gave it all up in the lack of a heartbeat, all for her.

People think I am the calm one, but there's nothing that calms me as much as the love from my wife. To look into her eyes and see how my love affects her, it's powerful, to have someone you love so depended on you, just as equally depended as you are, it's an overpowering feeling.

And there is nothing that hurts me more than the feelings from my love.  
Her visions, they are just painful, the things that she is feeling are killing me. She brushes it off like it's nothing, but I can feel her pain, her frustration, and the fear that she's feeling when she gets to see the most awful things. She just can't hide from me, but I let her pretend that she can.

It's hard that she is my mate and the feeling that I want to protect her from the world is just too strong. We've had our ups and downs. We weren't always like this, now it's like we're dancing and we are both leading and following. Sometimes I can swear that when I'm looking into her eyes, my heart starts beating.

Not to be able to sleep has its upsides, one of them is, like now, me spending a shameful amount of hours gazing into her eyes, the prettiest eyes in the world. Me, just lying here beside her on our bed. Stroking her with the softest touch I can muster, over her eyelids, counting each and every eyelash, down to her soft lips.

It's just so hard to know peoples most inner secrets and their shames, their fear and things they don't want anyone to know, and above all, things they haven't even realized yet.  
I've practiced my humbleness for many years now, my peaceful existence, but I will let you know, it's a heavy burden.

Alice

I love him, it is as simple as that.

I know that it kills him that I can see every weakness he has. He is a warrior, a fighter and he is not supposed to have weaknesses.  
But I can see each and every one of them, as I lay here besides him when he touches me, how vulnerable he is. It sooths my soul, it makes my cheeks glistening with tears of venom from my eyes.

I slowly take his hand that's lingering on my lips, in my much smaller one, never breaking eye contact, until I start kissing his palm with butterfly light kisses. When he closes his eyes and sighs a content sigh, my tears are flowing more freely, the things I would do for this man.

We have the ability to communicate fully with each other, without uttering a single word. To say that we use it would be an understatement.  
They say, you are only as strong as your weakest link, and that's me.  
I knew from the very moment I saw his face that he was made for me, and even if he didn't know it yet, he belonged with me.

He knows it now of course, he told me that, when he first met me he could feel the sincerity in my feeling towards him, in how much I love him.  
It freaked him out in the beginning, how someone he didn't know, could love him as much as I did. Not the fact that I didn't know him, that he didn't know me.  
It broke him down, it was a feeling he hadn't experienced in along 's amazing- how you can walk in a world full of creatures and be completely alone.

Our love is very powerful the way we reflect it, sometimes I'm afraid it will consume us, drag us down and never let us come up to the surface bounces, evolves and gets greater every time we look in each others eyes. I know that he can feel every part of me just as he knows that I can see every part of him.  
There is nothing he can hide, I can see his every move, every decision he makes. If he is at a turning point it's hard, it's so hard not to make every decision for him.I could live his life if I wanted to, if I'm not careful enough I will.

He makes me high, it feels like I am walking on pink fluffy clouds everyday. I can admit that I'm hooked; I am on a roller coaster of a sugar rush.  
Just as much as I love him, I need him. I would love to say that he is the air that I am breathing, the one that makes my heart beat like crazy, but in my world that's not possible.

But the high he gives me when I am looking into his eyes are not from this world. It bounces between us, it grows, the love we are feeling, the love that I am feeling, it bounces against him, and he reflects it even more grows, it catches us every time in its spell like a whirlwind.  
Silent conversations my ass.


End file.
